More to live than this
For me, it has been a month of shedding *and* newfound wisdom. The questions that I continued to come back to are: “What is the point of all this healing “work” if we never allow ourselves to actually live in freedom? Who am I outside of everything else? What do I truly want?”
There is that gorgeous quote I love by Annie Dillard: “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives” and I am reminded by this that I want joy in the now as much as I can bring of it. That the doing is in the being and, thereby, that the doing is only as good as the being doing the doing. (Lots of being and doing in one sentence here. You might want to read it again to grasp the importance of it.)
For most of us, we have been raised in a society that conditioned us to believe that our worth exists outside of ourselves. in our work. What we look like, what we own. How ‘healed’ or mature we are.
Why? We are a part of a system this way .. easier to control, manipulate and have our power taken away. And I am continuing to learn, the most powerful place we can be is inside our bodies.
We often learn this in our family systems. “THIS is who WE are. This is how our family does things. This is what we believe. This is how you need to behave and show up in this world in order to maintain the image we have. This is who you need to be so that we are comfortable.” Some version of that may have been spoken explicitly or it may have been an implied message that was deeply felt.
Sometimes “who we are” is a beautiful thing. It may be grounded in freedom of expression and authenticity. Other times, it’s rooted in control, manipulation, ego, and unintegrated pain and trauma.
Here’s what I’ve come to realise:
Every time I say “yes” to something that calls at my heart, I’m initiated into the journey of becoming.
Becoming whole. Becoming free. Becoming who I’m meant to be — and could be, if only I didn’t believe there was anything wrong with me. Because — deep down — I know, I am and will always be enough just by being the messy, amazing, imperfect human that is me.
It’s okay if your life doesn’t look like you thought it would.
It’s okay to live in the in-Between Places.
It’s okay to be humbled to dust and still walk with your head high.
It’s ok to not (always) be ok. 🧡
G̵o̵o̵d̵ ̵v̵i̵b̵e̵s̵ ̵o̵n̵l̵y̵
All VIBES ALWAYS
Our stories change over time.
We hold them differently as we learn to hold ourselves differently. But there is something potent and powerful about allowing ourselves to pause every once in a while and witness our own becoming — to pause and see how we’ve turned pain into aliveness — to pause and honor all we’ve become in spite of who we once were.
The most interesting thing I’ve been experiencing lately is the learning I am finding UNDERNEATH what I’m being taught.
The learning underneath the learning is the one that is not said out loud, not communicated, not specified but is deeply embedded in the information you are receiving.
